In January 1999 as churches burned all across India, from Gujarat to Orissa then, by the Hindu fascist arms of the Bajrang Dal, RSS, VHP… and anti-conversion laws became legislature, as people’s freedom to personal faith was shackled in fear, Gladys Staines a soft spoken widow from Australia, fluent in Oriya, chose to forgive Dara Singh the murderer who burnt alive her husband and two sons. She quietly continued to live and serve amongst the poor and outcaste lepers of Orissa, for another five years. In a culture where people are used to vengeance, the light of forgiveness shone brightly. The burning shame of religious intolerance and fascism was challenged by the love of Jesus. The Staines’ murder in Oriss will remain a collective blot on the conscience of India for a long time to come. It made a great country look small and ugly. Healing comes from forgiveness, something that Gladys Staines believes in very strongly. He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater, He sendeth more strength as our labors increase; To added afflictions He addeth His mercy, To multiplied trials he multiplies peace. When we have exhausted our store of endurance, When our strength has failed ere the day is half done, When we reach the end of our hoarded resources Our Father’s full giving is only begun. His love has no limits, His grace has no measure, His power no boundary known unto men; For out of His infinite riches in Jesus He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
By Annie Johnson Flint (Gladys’ favourite poem)
It was 4.30am on 23rd January, 1999. A close friend woke me up over the phone, with the news that the jeep that my husband and two sons were supposed to be sleeping in was set ablaze. At that time, I didn’t even think that they were killed. I just thought there had been an accident and the jeep had caught on fire. No one in the village could muster up the courage to tell me the news. It wasn’t until four hours later that I found out that Graham, Timothy and Philip were burnt alive. I remember saying to my daughter Esther then, who was 13 at that time, we’ll forgive and she said yes mom, we’ll forgive. God enabled us to do it. Today, Dara Singh the ring leader who orchestrated the macabre event, is in prison for life, apparently unrepentant still, but I have forgiven him. Even at his trial, I tried to catch his eyes, but he wouldn’t look at me. I asked the Lord to show his love through me, to show no anger or bitterness to him. I haven’t met him face to face as yet, but I would like to do so now and hope Dara Singh experiences God’s forgiveness. People ask me if I am angry with God but I was never angry with God, just deeply sad. Initially I didn’t even cry much, but one night, in the bathroom, I broke down and sobbed. No, I don’t need to know why and I don’t think I really questioned God. I believe God allows things to happen that we don’t always understand. His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are higher than ours. I came to India in 1981, to the village of Baripada in Orissa. This is where I met my husband of “Fifteen and a half wonderful years”, Graham, was already working there as a missionary. He was a great husband, a great father, people remember him as a kind and gentle man who always dressed casually, sported a trademark hat and wheeled around Baripada on his rickety bicycle. The two of us had lived just 20 miles apart in, Brisbane, Australia but we had never met. Baripada is where we had our three kids and lived for over 20 years, helping in the healing of the Mayurbhanj Leper Colony, giving them a sense of purpose and dignity. This was home and these were our people. Sometimes, my heart aches for my sons as I remember their childish pranks. But I know that my husband and sons were ready and prepared to die. They had a very real faith in Jesus Christ as their saviour and a solid assurance of where they were headed when their time was up. In fact, Timothy (9) to often talk about going to heaven and Philip’s (7) favourite song was – “When the trumpet of the Lord shall sound, and time shall be no more, And the morning breaks, eternal, bright and fair; When the saved of earth shall gather over on the other shore, And the roll is called up yonder, I’ll be there. Let us labour for the Master from the dawn till setting sun, Let us talk of all His wondrous love and care; Then when all of life is over, and our work on earth is done, And the roll is called up yonder, I’ll be there” And Tim used to make up his own songs about heaven. He used to say, “When we go to heaven, we’ll all be given a rose…” People have repeatedly asked me over the years, “If punishment is part of God’s providence, then why is there a need for you to forgive?” I gladly answer them with God’s own words from the scripture: “’It is mine to avenge; I will repay’” (Heb. 10:30). Since the tragedy I have observed how the act of forgiving has reverberated throughout India. Wherever I go people ask me why I forgave, yet I feel they are inspired by the idea of forgiveness.” When one woman remarked that she could not understand why I had forgiven the killers, my daughter Esther remarked: “Mummy, I can’t understand how they can’t understand why we have forgiven.” It was then I knew how deeply the teachings of Christ had penetrated my immediate family. Forgiveness brings healing. If I have something against you and I forgive you, the bitterness leaves me. Forgiveness liberates both the forgiver and the forgiven. The Bible teaches us to forgive. Has not Jesus set the example? To me, Christianity is not a religion. It is personal faith in God. Religion is the process of man aspiring to reach God. But in Christianity God is reaching down to man. So you have two opposites. No matter how many prayers you say, only God can change you. Faith is not simply a matter of following a tradition. It is about your relationship with the living God. So then, where’s the question of me converting anyone? Yes there is a still a lot of intolerance in India, but I continue to hope that people will come to experience forgiveness in their own lives, which I believe only comes through Jesus Christ. I wish they would live in harmony together. I am living in Australia now, focusing on my daughter’s medical education, getting my nursing license renewed and then I’m open to wherever the Lord takes me. I would like to really thank each and every Indian who has prayed for me. I’ve had people from every walk of life come up to me and say, please forgive us, we’re very sorry this has happened, this is not Hinduism and we’re praying for you. Over the years, they’ve supported me, have grieved with me, and I want to thank them today publicly, for being with me in spirit.